G. Scott Graham on Medium

When reflection feels endless, the walls can close inHave you ever noticed how we sometimes accept things in therapy that we would never tolerate anywhere else in life? If your mechanic couldn’t fix your car after years, you’d fire them. If your doctor prescribed treatment after treatment for high blood pressure and nothing changed, you’d seek another opinion. If your roof kept leaking after multiple “repairs,” you’d call in a new contractor. If your personal trainer worked with you for years and you still couldn’t run a block, you’d find a new trainer.And yet, in therapy, many people sit in the same […]

The field, not the bleachers. Hiking with Rocket and Groot.Nine weeks ago, I had hip replacement surgery. Twelve days later, I crossed the starting line of an obstacle course — something I wrote about in detail here.Result? A triple femur fracture. A week in the hospital. A week in rehab. Now another five weeks of healing at home.That’s the headline. But how I got here — and what it taught me — is the real story.The Water SlideBefore the race, I wasn’t reckless. I worked with my physical therapist. We mapped out every obstacle, one by one. Which ones were safe? Which were borderline? Which were flat-out stupid for me to try?Out […]

Groot, Rocket and me on August 3 2024 (Savage Race Boston)Less than two days from now, Groot, Rocket, and I are doing another obstacle course together.Today, I found myself weeping.It came suddenly, in that kind of quiet that shows up when everything else goes still — when the distractions fall away, and there’s nothing left but breath and gravity. I wasn’t afraid. I wasn’t anxious. I wasn’t in pain.But the tears kept coming.And for a few minutes, I didn’t know why.They weren’t the kind of tears that ask for comfort.They weren’t about giving up.They were something else.They were recognition.Grief, maybe.Truth, certainly.Ten days ago, I had a hip […]

When the Easy Path Isn’t: What it Really Takes to Stay Soft—Even When You’re HurtingPhoto by Martino Pietropoli on UnsplashThe Ending I Didn’t ExpectA week and a half ago, Peter ended our relationship.No conversation.No call.Just an email message.And just like that, the relationship was over.On Valentine’s Day, Peter and I met in person and agreed to take a break. He said he needed space to work on himself, without me as a distraction or a safety net. Those were his words. He promised to give me a date, sometime in May, when we’d reconnect and talk things through.That date never came.I honored our agreement. I […]

Reedsy vs. Read&Rate: Which Book Review Platform Actually Delivers Anything Worth a Damn?Photo by Joran Quinten on UnsplashI’ve tried both. Paid the money. Did the work. Got the reviews — or didn’t. And if you’re here, you’re probably wondering which one of these platforms is actually worth your time: Reedsy or Read&Rate?Here’s how it played out. No fluff. No affiliate links. No pretending either of these platforms is a magical solution.Let’s go.Cost: who takes your money faster?Reedsy hits you with $50 per book, upfront. No review guarantee. No refunds. Just a “we’ll list your book and see what happens” shrug.Read&Rate works on a monthly fee ($10 […]

Read&Rate: The Book Review Platform That’s Basically a Casino Cruise for AuthorsPhoto by Derek Lynn on UnsplashI’ve been exploring book review platforms to boost visibility for my books, and one of the newest players I tried was Read&Rate. Here’s my no-BS experience.Let’s start with the obvious: it’s cheap. Read&Rate has two plans — $10 or $20 per month. The $10 plan lets you get reviews for one book at a time. Want more? You’ll need the $20 plan, which allows up to 20 books posted at once.But let’s be clear — you’re not buying reviews. You’re paying for the privilege of stepping into their weird internal economy. […]

Reedsy Discovery (a.k.a. How to Pay $50 to Become Their Unpaid Intern)Photo by James Tarbotton on UnsplashI’ve been testing out book review platforms to get more eyes on my work. One of those platforms was Reedsy Discovery. Spoiler alert: if you’ve ever wanted to pay for the privilege of becoming a part-time, unpaid Reedsy street team member, buckle up. This one’s for you.The Reedsy SetupLet’s break it down.Reedsy is free to join, but it costs $50 to list your book for review. That sounds simple enough — except it’s like paying an entry fee to a party where no one shows up, the DJ’s asleep, and someone […]

The Match.com Scam: You’re Not the Customer — You’re the BaitLet me tell you a story — one that might sound familiar if you’ve ever used a dating app and wondered why it felt more like gambling than dating.I recently got back on Match after letting my subscription lapse. Why did I let it lapse? Because I met someone on Match last August! I deleted the app, stopped logging in, and started a relationship. I didn’t delete my profile — just stepped away.Upon my return, I uncovered some serious shit. And you’re about to be blown away. It’s staggering. If you’re using Match, you deserve to know how the […]

When Strength Comes Back Fast — And What That Taught Me About Equanimity, Grief, and HealingA few months ago, I couldn’t open a jar of pickles.Not because I didn’t want to. Not because I wasn’t trying.Because I couldn’t.After two hand surgeries — right hand in October 2024, left hand in December — my grip strength was gone. My physical therapist, Todd Holt, pulled out a hand dynamometer (that “squeeze thingy” that measures grip strength), and the results were humbling:14 pounds of pressure from my left hand38 from my rightFor context, the average for someone my age is around 85 pounds.That number felt miles away.But I kept at it — squeezing putty, doing finger stretches, showing […]

Grief Doesn’t End — And That’s Not a ProblemWhy I wrote Come As You Are: Five Years Later, and why I keep writing about grief.The road to grief and love never ends (photo by G. Scott Graham)A few weeks ago, I was a guest on a podcast. I shared some very personal, sometimes messy details about my life — my inner world, my struggles, the grief I’ve carried, and what it’s been like to fall in love again after losing my husband.Afterward, a friend reached out. She told me how much she admired the vulnerability it must have taken to speak so openly. I appreciated it. But I […]